You never mean to turn down that road but when you do I guess you begin to realize things about yourself.
I have a friend. We share a lot of the same interests. He gives great advice. And he has dreads. Hehe. We have only known each other a little over a year but I swear he knows me almost as good or maybe more than I know my own psyche. Sheesh. It's crazy. Most times he's my "goto guy" when another guy has fucked me over. But listen..
He told me today that the theme song to my life should be "My Foolish Heart". It's a ballad by artist Jazmine Sullivan. The title of the song should be self-explanatory but if you need more disposition then I'll tell you. This song is an ode to the women of the world [as myself] who are quick to fall. Quick to let someone in your life hoping that they will become your one&only. Quick to say yes. Quick to put him on a pedestal after only a few sweet words [BBMs & texts in today's world]. I'm putting myself on front street because once he said this and I went and listened to the song, my eyes watered up. Why? Because it made me realize "damn, this sounds just like me." Yes, I have bestowed my heart upon guys who did nothing but toss it away like it was nothing but a worn t-shirt that served no further use in their life. But am I wrong for that? Maybe I'm just naive. He says that I go into each possible relationship expecting the guy to be the "The 1". Silly me. I can't help that I love fast. I try to see the good in people. Is it because my dad was around but he also wasn't? Am I looking for someone to fill that void? Mannnn I don't know. I do know that after listening to that song and realizing that I do indeed have a foolish heart, that things have got to change. A stronger, more patient, and choosy Jasmine will exude in 2011. I promise that.